Hockey: America's AAA sport

Those of you who know me realize that I have been watching sports for the better part of the 25 years I have been on this planet. And through all that time I have found that nothing gets me off the couch faster than a good rumble.

Not a set up match mind you, like in MMA or boxing, but a legitimate spur of the moment throw down that takes place when you least expect it.

Sure, Tyson/Holyfield was massively entertaining, as is any fight involving Kimbo Slice. However, nothing beats a good old fashioned in-game ruckus.

Why do I bring this up you ask? Was there some incredibly entertaining and ridiculous sports fight that you missed last night?
Sadly no, and you could be seeing fewer and fewer of them thanks to several NHL GM's and the rest of the NHL's brass who oversee the sport that provides us more fights than any other.

In a statement made on March 12, several NHL GM's expressed their displeasure at the amount of fighting going on in their league. Specifically, these suits want to curb what they call "staged fights". That is, fights which players arrange before the drop of the puck.

They are proposing a rule change which institutes a 10 minute misconduct penalty to any fight that a referee deems to be staged. What's worse is that they are proposing to seriously discuss trying to remove fighting from hockey all-together when they meet this summer.

While I understand wanting to protect million dollar investments as well as wanting referees to enforce the rules (and the players to actually abide by them), I have serious doubts as to whether the profits of this potential rule change outweigh the consequences.

Why you say? For the sake and viewership of the casual fan.

For most people, including myself, the NHL disappeared off of the major sports radar during the players lockout of 2004-2005. BEFORE the lockout the sport was on a major decline in the US ratings were falling, teams were relocating, and the league was struggling to stay afloat. It had become foriegn -- a Canadian sport trying to thrive in an American market that was uninterested (sound a bit like the MLS to you?)

Once they took a year off, no one seemed to notice when they came back. Anyone who wasn't a die hard fan just stopped caring. For me, this was the case. Even when the Bruins were decent, I really didn't pay attention. Their star was a gigantic freak of an athlete who seemed to be afraid to get physical and/or show the slightest bit of emotion (Joe Thornton for those of you who REALLY weren't paying attention). Without emotion and grit, the sport really meant nothing to me.

And this year, when the Bruins season began, I was the same way. But when they started winning, I began to pay closer attention (I am a HUGE bandwagon Bruins fan). One night, early in the season (November 1), I turned on the game and they happened to be playing the Dallas Stars. I decided to give it a whirl, and within two minutes there was a fight. Then another. And another and another. The crowd was going crazy, the Bruins were pumped up, and I was hooked.

While that game turned out to be a turning point in the Bruins season, I think it was the turning point for casual hockey fans in Boston. Hockey had an identity in the Hub again, and it manifested itself in the form of a punch from the hand of Milan Lucic or Shawn Thorton. And you know what? It was freaking entertaining.

To further prove my point, I will re-create the dialogue between Rosen, Adams and I while at a Bruins game shortly thereafter.

Me: That was a sick pass by Kessel.

Rosen: When are they going to fight someone?

Me: Dude, did you see that glove save by Thomas?

Adams: Fuck you Semuels, you promised fights

Me: Silence.

Can you tell why these casual Hockey fans were at the game? They wanted to see a fight, and frankly, I don't blame them.

So why are these unscripted brouhaha's so delectably entertaining? Because just when you think you can't stand another NBA Cares commercial or another appearance of Wally on the Jumbo Tron, Ron Artest goes and starts throwing hay makers at little kids in the crowd.

Here is a great example of what fighting can do for a sport.

Last year I was sitting on my couch in Portland, OR after work just flipping through the channels, back and forth from Law and Order to ESPN, when I decided to get a little crazy and flip to ESPN's ugly step-sister ESPN2 to see what was on. Low and behold I found the single most boring thing on television...a WNBA game (regular season mind you)

Now previous to this incident, the most I had talked (or watched) an WNBA game was while drunk and debating with Adams about whether or not he could hold his own if he entered a WNBA game as a sub (he is adamant that he could but I am not so sure). Briefly flashing back to this, I decided to stick with the game for a solid minute. It was dull, slow, and about as entertaining as the new season of 24.

I was about to switch channels during a free throw when all of a sudden WHAM. Plenette Pierson (no relation to Snoop Pierson for all of you Wire fans) throws a vicious elbow into the jaw of Candice Parker. Parker retaliates by running her over and then all hell breaks loose. The benches clear, punches are thrown, and to top it all off assistant coach Rick Mahorn throws Lisa Leslie to the floor. At this point my jaw is on the floor and I am just waiting for Bill Lambeer (who is coaching Detroit) to get a cheap shot in just for good measure.

I immediately called anyone I could get a hold of. My heart was racing. I actually cared!! And the next day I even checked to see of their were any suspensions and if anyone was talking trash. It was incredible. I had become interested in the WNBA overnight (any press is good press for a struggling product, right?)

Now I did not suddenly turn into a WNBA fanatic, but I do pause from time to time to watch a game if it is on. Maybe it's in the hope of another fight (probably), and maybe it's because I crave the passion in the game (doubtful). But either way, does it matter?

The WNBA is a struggling product, not all that dissimilar to the NHL, post lockout. But while promoting fighting in basketball would be seen as lunacy and a disgrace to the game, it is built into the sport of hockey. Let me repeat that. Fighting is part of hockey -- end of discussion.

It makes me wonder if hockey really wants people to care about it. If a sport is so concerned with the safety of its players (which is a load of crap seeing as players were just a few years ago required to wear helmets) that it ignores the one huge advantage it has over other sports, it raises serious doubts.

If Gary Bettman and the GM's of the league are content coming second fiddle (and a distant second fiddle at that) to the NFL, MLB, NBA, and NASCAR, then fine. Ban staged fighting. Ban all fighting. Ban sharp skates. It won't matter because no one will be watching anyway.

But from a marketing standpoint, the proposed rule change makes zero sense.

Now if we know one thing from the past 100 years of American culture it is this: America loves a good fight. It's why Rocky is considered one of the great sports movies all time eventhough the acting and script are horrific, and why people pay $60 to see 30 seconds of fighting on pay-per-view.

So if your sports incorporates fighting in its by-laws, and has been doing so for the past hundred years, why would you want to stop it now? To me it seems like sabatoge from within. It's unethical and Un American.

Then again, maybe it's a Canadian thing.

Syracuse vs Arizona State

In honor of the great Bill Simmons, I will do a running diary of today's Cuse vs ASU game.

"ASU is full of promiscuous harlots and no nothing vagabonds. Glory to the Orange!"

Thank you Paul.

I am curious to see which Syracuse team will come out, the "chip on our shoulder, run you up and down the floor, and then have Eric Devendorf threaten your life" team that ran through the Big East Tourney, or the "Paul Harris, Eric Devendorf, and Jonny Flynn, one on five let's see who's dick is bigger crapshoot" team that lost to Cleveland State, Providence, and Georgetown.

Tip off time:

Ian Eagle and Jim Spanarkle are the announcers: Could be the best name combo for an announcing crew in history and are also very underrated -- where are they the other 50 weeks of the year?

Just flashed that Syracuse win National Championship as a 3 seed in 2003 -- Thanks for jinxing that CBS

Also, first mention of how Flynn and Harden are good friends whose bond will last a life-time. My over-under for how many more times it is mentioned is 5. CBS grabs a feel-good storyline and bleeds it to death. Example you say? How about Friday's Siena game when Kenny's Hasbrouck's father who has MS got more camera time than his son. AND after the game, Hasbrouck was the guy they grabbed to interview initially even though he played his worst game of the season. They quickly realized their error and grabbed Roland Moore who hit two of the biggest shots in tournament history to tie and win the game.

At least they have the theme song going for them.

17:04 Both sides are draining absurd shots including a fugly leaner by Harris -- 9-7 Cuse

Syracuse is really working it inside to Arinze and Rick Jackson who both have huge size advantages. Flynn just had a filthy blow-by reverse layup that reminded me why he is going to declare for the draft after this year. More on him later for sure.

11:45 ASU is jacking up threes like they are Celtics circa Jim O'Brien. Unfortunately most of them are going in and even though Syracuse is dominating play, its only a three point lead -- 16-13

8:42 Crappy possession out of the timeout, no movement ending in a Devo one of five drive to the hoop. The Cuse zone is giving ASU fits, and unless they can get the ball inside Cuse will just extend the zone to challenge the three.

5:55 Rautins hits a three and then another. Good to see him going after his disappeared during the round one game. The zone looks as strong as I have seen it this season. ASU seems to be content to shoots threes on every possession and have completely abandoned their inside game. --28-18 Cuse

5:12 The first shot of a "Boeheim Face" after Jackson throws away an outlet. Means they are playing well, but god I love those shots. Leigh (hence force referred to as MF) has become a Cuse fan BECAUSE of the Boeheim face. It varies between the "five year old who just took his first splash-back dump and isn't quite sure what to think" to the "I just tried to impersonate Bear Grylls and ate a fully functioning goats liver" look.
We will go over all of them at some point. It takes a lot of dissection.

2:39 Furious 7-0 run by Cuse capped by another Rautins three on the break. I just let out my first OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

First half ends with a mini run by ASU who should be getting routed and would be if not for some guy from Eastern Europe named Rihards Kuksiks (pronounced Coooksix) who has 15 of ASU's 31 points (averages 10 a game) On a good note, Harden is really shying in the spotlight, he has 0 points and has only attempted 4 shots.


The CBS halftime show was a story about Kenny's Hasbrouck's father who has MS.
I had no idea, did you? What a joke.

11:13 Sorry for the delay. Any Asian Rosen and I went to get coals for the hookah in his Toyota Matrix. By far the worst car name of the year. And its bright red. Thank god its not his. Cuse up by 10

10:19 Pendergraph fouls out. Really? With 10 minutes left? That is flat out retarded. I also blame Sendek for leaving him in. So much for their inside presence.

6:30 Abbott hits a three to cut the lead to 4 at 61-57 I don't like what I see on offense, lots of standing around and watching the ball. We need to get out on the break and start playing to win and not playing not to lose. That was a mind fuck. Just missed a three while writing, fuck this. For now.

3:39 Deven-thug hits two huge threes to widen what was a 6 point gap to 12 with just over 3 minutes to play. After the last one he stares down no one in particular. What a thug and what big shots.

1:51 Up by 15. Looks like Blake Griffen and Oklahoma are next. Last time they met? 2003 Regional Finals in Albany, NY. I was there, no big deal.

78-67 Final. Sweet Sixteen coming up. Time to smoke some hookah